I thought of a Chiddush this morning during Shacharis.
Chazzal teach us that there is no such thing as a prayer going unanswered. Hashem always answers each and every one of our Tefilos. Although sometimes, the answer is not the one that we wanted to hear.
Someone once complained to a Gadol in Yiddish; “Ich daven un daven, un der eirbishter enfert nisht! - I pray and pray and Hashem is not answering my tefilos!” The great person responded, “Der eirbishter enfert Yah!…Nisht! – Indeed Hashem is answering your prayers, (but) he is saying NO.
Hashem knows what is best for us and that doesn’t always jive with what we think is best for us. However, Hakadosh Baruch Hu always loves, desires and appreciates our tefilos and he always answers them.
Moshe Rabbeinu prayed no less than 500 tefilos to Hashem that he merit to enter the land of Eretz Yisroel. Furthermore, Chazzal explain that each one of these individual Tefilos was nuanced and specific in its (individual) beauty and depth and that no two tefilos were alike. However, ultimately, Hashem said no. The obvious question that follows, is why did Hashem allow Moshe to exert himself and put forth so many complex and complicated Tefilos if he already knew that he was not going to grant his request? Why allow Moshe Rabbeinu to go through this process?
The answer which Chazzal give, is that Hashem desired and needed each and every one of those Tefilos and although the Tefilos did not accomplish Moshe Rabbeinus personal objective, in reality they accomplished much much more. Chazzal say that Hashem took each one of those special tefilohs with their incredible powers and placed them into a “trust fund”, to be used as needed in future generations to save our nation from all kinds of calamities and to bring us closer to Mashiach. The tefilos of Moshe Rabbeinu were thus required and crucial in achieving a much greater purpose than what he had intended.
I once heard Rabbi Eli Mansour explain (from Chazzal), how prayers are similar to clouds. Clouds will often form in one place and travel great distances before depositing their precious - life sustaining rain in an entirely different area. Similarly, our tefilos which originate with us and with a specific purpose in mind, will often travel a great distance before Hakadosh Baruch Hu uses them to bring a much needed salvation to someone else – somewhere else.
Chazzal teach us that “Kol hamispallel b’ad chaveiro, hu ne’hene techiloh” – “He who prays on behalf of his friend, will merit personal salvation in the very same regard first.”
Our Chachomin explain that this approach of praying for a brother or sister in need, is a special segulah/merit for the supplicant to witness and experience Hashems’ salvation in the same regard.
I was thinking this morning, the fact is, it’s not always easy for a person to daven for another individual for that which he himself is lacking. Indeed, human nature is such, that our overwhelming desire for self preservation motivates us to look out for ourselves first. It is therefore extremely difficult for us to be mispallel for another person and especially when we desire the same things for ourselves.
Our chachomim understood our human nature and although they put forth a segulah that demands a tremendous amount of emotional self sacrifice, perhaps there is another perspective which they also had in mind? – (Or) At the very least, perhaps this following chiddush (my own) lends an additional dimension which would allow us to achieve the same segulah in a different way?
That is to say, that when we realize that Hashem who loves each of us, always (desires and) answers our individual tefilos in the manner which is most beneficial to his master plan (which we are not aware of), it becomes easier to approach the levels which Chazzal refer to earlier.
Once we realize that we ultimately cannot control how Hashem puts to use our prayers, then as difficult as it might be for us to actually pray for our friend for that which we want/need for ourselves, there is indeed a way to approach this concept while satisfying our desire to be mispallel for ourselves at the same time!
We can simply say to our father in heaven; “Tatty, you know how much I need / I’d like to have a,b,c,d. At the same time, I recognize that in your infinite wisdom and kindness, you know what is best for me and you will ultimately answer my request and my tefilos by using it in the most efficient manner – which will ultimately be a zechus for me either way. I am therefore begging you to please grant my request. However, if for some reason (known only to you) you cannot do this, then at least accept and use my prayer to bring salvation and yeshuos to another Jew/my friend who needs the same!
Perhaps, this approach will actually make it easier for us to truly daven for our friend and to thus merit the blessing and guarantee of Chazzal that “Kol hamispallel B’ad chaveroh, hu ne’hene techiloh”!
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